selectiveness is protection
be mindful of who has access to your inner world
Spreading your energy thin is only sustainable for so long until the veil lifts.
By choosing to see the best in everyone, the deepest of connections feel safe to flourish, so don’t ever completely dismiss this characteristic. As a soul who doesn’t participate in disposability culture, choosing to hold onto those you care for while seeing the best in them, despite difficulties that arise, is such a blessing. However, this kind of thinking on an extreme level can also prove to be a deficit when overlooking behaviors and patterns that are destructive. You can be loyal to others, and simultaneously protective of your spirit. Accepting everything teaches people what they can get away with. It openly displays what you are willing to tolerate, and make no mistake, some will run you into the ground when they feel they have permission to.
There’s a difference between being kind and being nice, and appeasing others at the expense of yourself will get you trampled on.
It’s a heartbreaking realization that those who have the most to give are the ones who suffer the most. They are often taken advantage of and pushed toward the realm of coldness because their warmth is never reciprocated with the same energy. Over time, they become indifferent to the world because soul-crushing patterns have emerged before, and they are eventually left with no choice but to put themselves first, not in a selfish manner, but a selective one.
Not everybody is meant to have access to your inner circle, and by doing so, you leave yourself open to spiritual attacks, energetic depletion, and interference.
Carrying yourself with grace, compassion, and acceptance should not only be reserved for those you love, but the secrets, the struggles, the personal shortfalls and accomplishments should only be visible to certain eyes. And if you haven’t yet experienced the detriment of oversharing with the wrong people, give it time. The blessing of discernment will be your guide, and trustworthy sources will be revealed in moments of your darkest hardships and greatest successes.
It can be easier to turn a blind eye and downplay somebody’s actions to avoid confrontation and the collapse of a familiar connection. We are all guilty of overlooking behaviors that are less than ideal because every single soul carries insecurities, triggers, and imperfections, and we only need to look in the mirror to validate that reality. But there are certain actions that must be addressed: sly comments, betrayals, acts of sabotage, a lack of personal support when others receive it in spades, animosity your intuition feels is lingering. Pay attention to the way you feel around particular people. Do you feel you need to dim your light to fit in with them? Are you biting your tongue, or feel hesitant to share information? Have you witnessed a side of them you cannot unsee, despite convincing yourself of their good intentions while engaging in mental gymnastics? Your nervous system should feel safe in their presence. The boldness of expression should never feel suppressed or tainted. You might engage in conversational conflicts and be challenged, but it will never feel intimidating to speak your truth and exchange views.
Time reveals all: hidden agendas, malicious intentions, animosity that hadn’t previously risen to the surface. Those closest to you can be seen as extensions of yourself, so you want to ensure they have your best interests at heart, as you do for them. Others’ access to your loyalty does not negate your need for privacy, and it can be revoked at any time.
Selectiveness is protection. The people you allow in your energy field can make or break you. This isn’t melodramatic. You must gauge the genuine from the insincere, and remove any close energies that wish harm upon you because energy seeps, and maintaining a high frequency is reliant on the company you keep. Life is capable of breaking down the most resilient of souls, and you don’t need to spend extra time pouring into people who couldn’t give a fuck about you in your time of need.
Personally, intentions matter above all because some actions are unintentionally hurtful, inconsiderate, and reckless, but in other cases, they can stem from places of unhealed trauma. This is where compassion comes in because some people require a serious conversation for their eyes to open to how they are making you feel. Some frayed connections can be mended and come back even stronger, if the intentions are not malicious. But if somebody has or intends to harm you and break you, whether subtly or aggressively, get yourself the fuck away from them as soon as possible. They will not change, and their actions will continue to infect your spirit until you become unrecognizable to yourself.
It is imperative that you become especially picky with those you keep close to you.
Not judgmental. Not shut off from the world. Not cruel.
But aware, switched on, protective, and unable to be manipulated.
This is the foundation of self-preservation because your soul is a work of art that must be protected. Your boundaries and limits deserve to be regarded and guarded.
Life is too short to continue pouring energy into those who take and take and secretly want to see you fail. Selectiveness will ensure the hidden gems of your personality: your uniqueness, your flare, what makes you… you… is reserved for those who deserve it and put in the effort to experience your vulnerability. How special it is to know that not everybody gets to see that side of you.
If you’re reading as a free subscriber, thank you for being here. Upgrading to a paid membership is a beautiful way to support my work and help me keep creating essays like this.
I totally agree. Your post reminds me of this:
Everyone Can’t Be In Your Front Row (Anonymous)
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go,
or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible,
not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships and family!
Everyone Can’t be in Your Front Row.
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to:
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage, and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill?
When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand,
know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?
Everyone Can’t be in Your Front Row.
The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality,
the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God,
the more you seek things honorable,
the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you,
the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the Front Row
and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
Everyone Can’t be in Your Front Row.
You cannot change the people around you…
but you can change the people you are around!
Ask God for wisdom and discernment
and choose wisely the people who sit in the Front Row of your life.
Remember that Front Row seats are for special and deserving people
and those who sit in your Front Row should be chosen carefully.
Everyone Can’t be in Your Front Row.
Someone sent this to me a long time ago. I have a copy of it somewhere. I think it is time I found it a dusted it off.
I definitely resonate with this and I always see myself in your words. I was literally thinking about this a couple days ago and just wrote an article about it before I came here to read this. You are my mirror and I'm so thankful to have found you and to have found the other's who are like minded souls. People who choose truth over comfort and Resonance over performance, who are genuine, authentic and honest, those are the people I connect and stand with. I will never take people for granted. I know when someone is really worth it to me. I don't jump on everything and I definitely don't try to replace someone with someone else. I'm definitely not like anyone else. That's what I keep finding out on my spiritual journey. There's something deeper happening that so many people don't realize. But they will. Everyone will understand sooner or later. One thing used to bother me. It is how I can be kind and honest and truthful and loving and caring and still be misunderstood, still be rejected, still be seen as something and someone else other than what "I" know that I am. People will assume instead of having a conversation with me about it. But that's not in my control. When someone wants silence I will give them that. But in the past so many people get triggered and get mad at me for simply respecting their wishes and think I don't care. But that's never the case. I know when there is genuine connection and when there isn't. I know what my soul spoke to me and speaks to me. I know that I am connected to The Divine Creator and have unbreakable trust with The Divine Creator. Knowledge is power because they hid the knowledge that would help people reach this point of their own evolution. So, depending on how much the conditioning and manipulation and programming took root in people's subconscious mind, the longer it will take for them to really find their own path, the real and true path their soul chose. Living from my soul is something that I have been doing for quite awhile now. And I definitely notice that it matters who is in your life and it is not good to have a bunch of people tied to you. Because each soul has their own distortion to work with and transmute. But also, if they're not choosing alignment then they will pull you back down into the noise and static of the old programming. I know that you align with me and so, I will always sit with you and stand with you. Not from obligation or performance or anything like that but because I value everything you stand for. I see what is, in all of life at the surface but I also see the deeper layers and meet the extraordinary! It is not something I am making up, it was and is always found within, during the times I sit in stillness and quietude. I will sit in pure silence for a whole day sometimes and man, it is refreshing. Simply living my life and keeping my heart open to The Divine Creator and to love, to receive it as well as give it. But a lot is going on with me lately. Not only the comfortable things, but the uncomfortable things too. I know that life will always have it's challenges. That is what makes Life worth living. Without the contrast, and without our contradictions, how could we ever grow or come to know what is REAL and True. So I don't hold nothing against anyone. I have no enemies and only peace and love and happiness and calm are with me. I don't have a bunch of people in my circle. But with what I have experienced with having more than only a couple of people, is how much better every connection is and how Unity is possible for humanity. Maybe a lot more people understand than I know! I'm not saying that isn't a possibility. I know I have a choice, I always choose my heart and soul as I always say and I don't argue with my inner knowing, the truth in my bones, the Resonance of my heart and soul. I don't negotiate with that. I'm not perfect and I don't know it all. I'm only trusting The Divine Creator and trusting the process and Divine timing, trusting my soul and living my life without getting stuck in my head about things. I keep my compassion as I know that we're all learning and growing and I will always be true, authentic, genuine and honest. I definitely will never turn bitter or cold that's for sure. I wouldn't have it any other way 😌🌠🙌🏾✨ Thank you for everything you do!!