revoke access

not everyone deserves an open door into your life

It can be easier said than done to sever the cord between certain people and situations that deserve nothing but your silence. It isn’t always as simple as some make it out to be to leave everything in the dust and start over, even if that decision would bring the most peace. Compassionate hearts feel a gravitational pull to see the best in people, every damn time, even at their own demise. And it’s important to hold onto the sparkle of forgiveness and not shy away from tough conversations, especially if you value someone’s place in your life and want to fix things. However, discernment is key because at some point, after being the understanding one repeatedly, you might find you are being taken for a ride, unofficially seen as the predictable doormat.

Good judgment is sharpened by patterns unable to be ignored: every time someone’s actions don’t match their words, each speck of disrespect that makes its way into your sphere, those patterns repeating like clockwork, and every assumption about your character when you remain in your lane, unproblematic and unbothered. Some people live for a reaction, seeking proof they have disturbed your energy, pathetically pushing buttons to validate that their games matter.

There are times you must advocate for yourself with the fury of a wildfire.

And there are times when distasteful actions deserve no response. Zero.

Let them sit in the static of your distance and lack of acknowledgement. You gave too many chances to willingly repeat the cycle of disappointment. Make the statement clear that their venom is not welcome. Your energy is your currency, so why should they be cashing in?

People tend to assume the ones who walk away lack compassion or patience, but it’s these very traits that commonly cause them to stay longer than they should and accept everything until their spirit is eventually crushed. These people don’t want to acknowledge when they are being taken advantage of because they value loyalty and honor the philosophy that nobody is perfect, including themselves, and will ride to the ends of the earth to salvage a connection they cherish. And so, nobody has the right to judge when this same person finally chooses isolation because this decision is never an easy one, but they could stay and suffer or leave and grieve. In the end, they had to pick their poison.

Everybody eventually reaches their limit, and by default, nobody likes to think the worst of others. Have you ever witnessed a soul in love who sees nothing but perfection even if what is shown is anything but? A balance needs to be struck between being an optimist and a realist, and unless you have been on the receiving end of unimaginable cruelty, you don’t get to tell others how they should feel or react. It can be impossible to grasp the magnitude of some people’s malice, spiritual sickness, and envy… and the lengths some will go to while wishing on, waiting for, and contributing to their downfall. The ones commonly caught in the crossfire, attacked and undermined, are the ambitious souls in their own lane, the ones who radiate passion with a drive unmatched, those who know who they are and what they stand for, those who protect their boundaries and speak their truth, those with soul, those in a league of their own who shatter ideals with their vibrancy on the throne.

It’s usually these same empathetic spirits who attract energy vampires and covert animosity, and because of this, they must be especially careful with their company. When someone is more susceptible to absorbing negative energy, staying in an environment that agitates their spirit can be a matter of life or death, literally.

Personally, I do and have always believed, that as people we owe people the basic decency of explaining and communicating certain things because some aren’t malicious with their actions, but reckless or unknowing. And if you care enough to preserve a connection, then having those difficult conversations might be uncomfortable, but necessary. And you can grow stronger from them and learn to cherish the person in ways you didn't before. But there are always exceptions and instances where you cannot continue shouting into the void, allowing conflicts to tear apart your soul after accepting they just don’t get it. This is when distance is the only language they will understand. It’s not your job to continue explaining your pain to those who don’t care enough to change their ways and be mindful how their behavior is affecting you.

If someone’s actions continuously don’t align with their words at your expense, revoke access. If you have reason to believe someone is causing you harm or is capable of doing so, revoke access. If you can no longer trust someone, revoke access. If someone has betrayed you in any form, revoke access.

Your intuition and discernment will save you—pay close attention.

Step away whenever you feel restless within your soul. Step away if your gut is telling you to. You don’t necessarily need to disappear or hide to revoke access. You don’t need to permanently shut them out either. And it doesn’t mean you won’t ever forgive them. This is all up to you and how you feel.

But it means you should turn inward and allow space to breathe and reevaluate your boundaries and what you stand for. Decide what level of detachment is necessary. You can still continue to share snippets of your world online. You can continue to live your life. People seeing you and having direct access to your energy are two completely different things.

They no longer know who you are on a personal level anymore and what is happening in your life or your thoughts: the secrets, the conversations, the achievements, the goals, the wins. Cut them off from all of it.

If someone has shown you they do not appreciate what you bring, there is no point in convincing them to see what they do not believe. Your absence should be the only thing to speak. Time will then shine light on the truth, and there will likely come a time when they acknowledge your rarity and reflect on how they treated you.

As a soul who gives everyone a chance and wants to see the best in others, always waiting until it becomes impossible to ignore, once disrespect becomes a pattern, it is time to close that door. Never underestimate the bitterness and resentment which lives within some who want what you have and actively pray on your downfall. Insecurity creates enemies. Boundaries infuriate those who benefit from you having none. Yes, you can ignore them and ensure you are not in the same spaces. But there comes a time when the hint is not received, and you can no longer make excuses for their behavior and how far they are willing to go to infiltrate your peace. They can try to convince themselves that they won by evoking a reaction when you finally decide to remove them from your life.

Let them think what they want to think. Their warped perception is not your concern. Their ego can keep them company. Their delusion can keep them warm at night.

At least you know, in the bottom of your heart, you gave them a generous amount of chances to treat you with basic decency.

And they were not capable of extending that courtesy. Wish for these people to heal, despite the games they played. You carry yourself with class and grace. You are leagues above their drama, and they know it. That is why they tried so hard to tear you down in the first place.

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